Just a Lion in Suburbia

Whatever disappointments I face after this will be a piece of cake.

alittlemeerkat:

Due to your complete lack of credentials and education, we cannot offer you a position at the moment. Please enjoy living in your mother’s basement for the rest of your life.
Oops! Turns out your stomach cancer is actually not in recession! My bad, I’m sorry.
I’m sorry, ma’am, but we’re out of coke, will pepsi suffice?

Bitch, please.
I waited weeks for a Pottermore email that never came.